Out With the Old

When I was kicked out at 16 everything I owned took up half of the bed of a small pickup truck, a small blue Toyota pickup truck to be precise. Now, I would need a 17 foot moving truck.

I just realized I turn 30 in 7 days. I was told life begins at 30. I hear tell from 40 somethings that life begins at 40... and so on. I am not phased by my age much, (other than being grateful I survived my teen years). I blame this partially on the fact that I have no desire to have offspring. Therefore, I have no biological clock screaming at me to make with the babies regardless of how convenient that is (theoretically).

If I have an internal clock screaming about anything, it is asking me why I am not traveling, regardless how convenient that is (theoretically). I am not sure if that is nearly as painful emotionally as an internal baby timer, but it is as close as I get.

So, I am feeling this semi sort of unease at current. Not the kind you feel when you are making a bad decision, or are in peril. But rather, a sort of impatience with myself. Mainly because I feel I should know my direction. At minimum, what I am doing next.

What I have committed to is part Buddhist, part Landmark in nature. I have many things that are requiring me to enjoy this moment... right now... as I am living it. Ironically, I am okay with that. It is a sort of duality, trying to show myself loving kindness, while staying inspired.

So, I finally got off my ass this weekend and started going through my stuff. To progress anywhere, in any direction, I need to thin out my stuff. I would like to get back to the point when everything I own (that is not my residence) could fit in the back of a small Toyota pickup.

When I bought my house just over three years ago, I packed up all of my stuff. Most of which stayed in boxes for the entirety of the time I have lived here. I think that may have aided this purging process a bit. There was not so much attachment to my things, seeing as I apparently have not needed them in this time.

I found my prom dress, old high school notes, random artifacts, old jewelry, accessories, the fancy dress I wore to an awards dinner for my old employer, boxes upon boxes of work related stuff (I will gleefully be setting these ablaze when they lift the fire ban) and the list goes on. I was doing great... until I came to my boxes of books. Hardcover books, softcover books, books I have not read, books that are like an old friend I have not talked to in awhile.

I have a love affair with books. Ironically, I have more books in the 'Keep' pile than I do 'Stuff' at current. So, my goal now is to cut that pile down even more. I think I may bring a number of them to Half Price Books to sell. Put the book money in my travel fund.

So where should I go first?